Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events

Well, I possibly could have handled the incident with more grace and dignity but ….I didn’t!

Having a couple of hours free, I decided to go and play Bubbles and Balloons with the big babies as I rarely get to spend any time with them now. As I was walking up to the babyhome, an insect fell from a tree down the front of my T shirt and in to my bra. Within seconds, it started biting its way to freedom. I had been attacked by a siafu, a giant soldier ant, who presumably had been exploring the tree with the rest of his battalion.

Siafu bites are like electric shocks, followed immediately by searing pain radiating out about two feet from each bite.

At this point I was running through the corridor of the babyhome , hurdling the cleaner’s mop bucket and the tumbleform chairs with the special needs children in, to get to the admin office, leaving aghast staff laughing hysterically in my wake, thinking I was playing a new game. There are two small offices, adjoining each other. The front one for meetings and day to day business, the back one, with the ancient computer, is for admin.

I charged through the first one shouting my predicament as I went and shut the door to the back office so I could strip off my Tshirt and bra to get rid of the siafu, still blindly following orders and biting his way to freedom.

Unfortunately my Kiswahili being what it is, I had failed to alert them to my being bitten and instead had cried “matiti lina vunjika” which roughly translates as “my breast is broken”! This did nothing to ensure my privacy as the staff were intrigued as to what had happened and all came to help! (Blog to follow on how many other mishaps I’ve had with the language!)

At this point, the bites, of which there were many , had blown up to massive red welts and the pain was excruciating. Leonora, the assistant manager, told me the pain will last most of the day…..and then the itching will really start. Sitting on the porch with 7 crawling, grabbing babies no longer seemed like a great option.

Eating a mixture of anti-histamine, codeine and some of the haribo sweets I was saving for the kids for Easter, whilst lying on the sofa with an ice pack on my boob, feeling sorry for myself, and watching some episodes of House (to check if I  actually had a rare medical condition) seemed like a much better option!!

So that, dear Reader, is what I am doing!

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